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Pompeii

Pompeii mighty trainer fitness comicOriginally from Iceland Pompeii’s real name is Hugo. He was a large child but seemed to grow uncontrollably in his adolescence. At 16 he ran away from home in search of meaning.

His journey took him across Iceland, which took 4 days, so he set out on the ocean. He forged a canoe out of a fallen tree and set off but didn’t make it very far.

In his haste to find himself Hugo forgot to make a paddle and was at the mercy of the sea. Lucky for him, he had a date with destiny. A wicked storm picked up and his canoe bobbed back and forth knocking him unconscious. He was jostled awake when the boat hit a cliff. He lept off and climbed the mountainside.

It was here that Hugo was meant to come. He set camp for the night…

When Hugo awoke he noticed some tattered pieces of parchment by his side. They told the story of Beowulf that Hugo studied in grade school. The story ended with Beowulf getting fatally wounded in battle after defeating a dragon. Unlike grade school the story didn’t seem to end there. Reading on Hugo found that Beowulf’s power came from a mythical protein powder that originally belonged to the great samurai Miyamoto Musashi.

The protein was buried along with Beowolfs body on the island of Geatland in Sweden, precisely where Hugo is marooned. The final page of the parchment is a map to the burial plot. It was fate that brought Hugo to Geatland and to find the parchment that led to Beowolf’s tomb.

Hugo took a swig of the protein and got jacked. His large frame started bulging with muscle. Thinking back to his childhood hero, Popeye, he decided to go by the name Pompeii from there on out.

Upon arriving in America Pompeii loved getting swole at muscle beach with Arnold and the bros. It was here he met The Oracle and they developed a bond. The Oracle knew of the mythical protein (due to his Oracleness) and convinced him to use it for good.

“Gym idiots are everywhere.” The Oracle said. “You must use your powers to defeat this rising trend of Brorilla’s, Kimbo’s and the evil Jay Armadillo who has cheated far too many innocent exercisers. If you don’t help them the fitness industry is doomed to a life of bad advice, bro-science, non-nonsensical contracts, and scams.”

Pompeii looked around him with a clearer vision and knew that something had to be done. Gym idiots everywhere wet themselves.

 

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