Once upon a time there was a child obsessed with fairy tales. So much so that he decided at 8 years old to only respond when called Prince Charming. By 10 years old the child now known simple as “Prince” refused to wear anything other than nylon high socks and a puffy pirate shirt. A gorgeous child Prince’s parents signed him up with a childhood modelling agency. It was the worst decision they ever made.
Unfortunately for Prince he grew up ugly. During his formative years he ate too many chocolate bars and had bad acne and straight brown hair that, when grown long, became an ugly afro. He longed for the curly blond locks of the Prince Charming’s that he would read about in front of the mirror every night. Deservedly he got picked on in school. He would go home and ask his beloved mirror what it would take to be handsome. Fairy Tales aren’t real so the mirror never answered. Prince grew up unhappy and bitter at his frightful genetics for which he blamed his parents.
When Prince was 18 years of age his Mother called him down to dinner. He refused to answer. Still staring in the mirror he was aghast with what he saw. His hair, now meters long, reached the ground outside of his window. Deciding it was time he tied one end of his hair to a bed post and rappelled down the side of his house thinking of Rapunzel the whole time. At the bottom he snipped off his long hair and ran off to make himself handsome using whatever means necessary.
Prince started prostituting himself on the street to make money for his plastic surgery and synthol injections. With every passing surgery he was able to charge more for his “services”. Finally he was, by his own definition, handsome. The last piece of the puzzle was to dye his matted brown hair blond.
If you come across Narcissy still call him Prince. Narcissy was a name given to him by other users of Armadillo’s gym frustrated that he constantly takes up the area in front of the mirror. Fortunately for his adversaries he can’t stop looking at himself so is quite easy to defeat in battle.