Ditsy, trashy, and personally keeping the gossip magazine industry afloat. These are just a couple characteristics of the mindless drones that infiltrate Armadillo gym. The Kimbo is everything that’s wrong with women and exercise and must be stopped, but how did it start?
Kim Brittany-Daniels is originally from the Jersey Shore. Obsessed with makeup and the lives of others from an early age she became the most hated “cool” girl in school. Her style of putting others down protected her from developing her own identity and she grew up uncomfortable in her own shoes.
This process compounded upon itself when she met Circe. Being the only two wearing stylish sweatpants spending hours at a time reading gossip magazines on the elliptical they created a distaste for one another. Years passed before they spoke until that faithful day when Brad Pitt married Angelina Jolie.
Kim had a gossip mag talking about the wedding and she let Circe borrow it while she did her 30 rep sets on the abduction machine. An evil bond was formed.
One night after lightly sweating at the gym Kim Brittany-Daniels was sitting on the Jersey pier when a demented figure with massive pecs approached her. The man introduced himself as Pietre but said Kim could call him “Brorilla”. He gave her a bro fist pump and called her “Kimbo” with a dirty wink and a hand motion that resembled pulling the trigger of a gun.
They made love on the shore that night and became inseparable. At Pietre’s request she legally changed her name to Kimbo. The two started reproducing the dumbest kids imaginable. It wasn’t long before the world started to be overtaken by idiot Brorilla’s and Kimbo’s.