Facebook Twitter

Brorillas

Brorilla mighty trainer fitness comicThe scum of the Universe. The lowest of the low. These gym idiots do biceps curls in the squat rack and a minimum of 4 chest exercises per workout. They take a cologne shower before entering and upon leaving the gym. Before I get carried away about just how stupid the Brorilla is allow me to fill you in on where they came from.

The first Brorilla’s name was Pietre Fabiano and he grew up on the island of Sardinia to hard working middle class parents on a shipping port. Being a strict communist Pietre revolted violently after his hero, Antonio Gramsci, was imprisoned in November of  1926. This was the beginning of Pietre’s violent streak which led him to the top of Benito Mussolini’s most wanted list.

Seeking asylum Pietre’s parents stowed him away on a ship bound for America. The 30-day trip in a box caused his legs to atrophy but he kept his jacked chest by doing 1000′s of pushups a day. Upon arriving in America Pietre had developed a bad case of ILS (Imaginary Lats Syndrome) and was disfigured due to his twig legs and massive internal rotation.

In America Pietre needed to make money so started doing pushups for nickels on the street. Word got out of this abhorrent human doing 1000s of pushups for dollars to Jay Armadillo. Jay needed an attraction for his underground boxing matches to get people in the door and Pietre was the perfect freak.

The term Brorilla was born after Pietre started beating his chest upon finishing every 100 pushups and quickly his real name became lost. Jay fed Brorilla lasagna scraps and made him sleep on the floor of the boxing ring, one night he sneaked out and went for a walk along the dock.

This is where he met Kimbo. She looked so innocent and dumb reading her gossip mag by the water. He saddled up next to her and gave her a bro fist pump. Swooned by Brorilla it wasn’t long before they reproduced. Suddenly baby Brorilla’s and Kimbo’s were everywhere. Jay became worried and had a magical gold necklace developed that, when worn, would force the wearer to do his bidding.

Taken in by the shinyness of the necklace Brorilla put it on his and his baby Brorilla’s necks. Just like that the whole clan became enslaved by Jay to do his evil bidding.

FacebookTwitterPinterestShare